Book Recommendation

I commend to you a book by a former pastor of mine:  She’s Got The Wrong Guy by Deepak Reju.

I’d like to convince you to read and benefit from it, and that you need more than the book.

  • As a pastor I feel joy that our godly young women love and serve God, but also concern that they could be harmed in a culture deranged and inept about relationship.  Sadly, most of us have had to wonder, as the book’s subtitle, “why smart women settle.”  All of us can be better equipped to be faithful members of the body of Christ speaking the truth in love.
  • Our culture tells us to trust our feelings without explaining why they would guide well.  Scripture begins with our trustworthy God.  This book calls you to ground your identity with God and reason biblically.  It’s easier to build than repair so read this before you need it
  • Dee, an experienced counseling pastor, sees the ways problematic men, who produce broken relationships, loneliness, and pain present themselves.  There aren’t few types in this short book, because sin is unoriginal.  He has thought through how to counsel unmarried sisters to see through facades and rationalizations.
  • Desire for what a good marriage brings is powerful, but you can’t be godly enough for two.  In the workforce far worse than having no help was having help that was no help.  I had to do my job, his job, and fix his work.  Better to spend some time single and lonely than married, lonely, and trapped.
  • Dee helps us distinguish weak points from core issues.  Every Christian man is an ongoing work of God and this book would call him to grow in faith.  But marrying someone characterized by sin means that you sign up for making their sin the ever present center and sorrow of your life.
  • You need more than this book and as a church member, you have more.  The Bible tells us that older women should teach younger women.  They bring the credibility of wisdom and the love that moved them to covenant to care for their younger sisters.
  • Hebrews 13:17 urges, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”