Thoughts on Friendship February 10, 2014
In themen’s theology meeting last Wednesday evening, we discussed a chapter from Disciplinesof a Godly Man called “Discipline of Friendship.” It’s a striking title,putting “discipline” and “friendship” together the way the author does. We tendto think of discipline as hard and of friendship as fun and easy. But the titlemakes his point—namely, that for most men, it takes effort and determination topursue and maintain real friendships. Busyness, superficiality, a lack ofinterest in relationships, and a view that friendships are a luxury—these aresome of the key reasons men aren’t more inclined to pursue deep, godlyfriendships with other men after the fashion of David and Jonathan, Daniel andhis three comrades, or Barnabas and Paul. To provoke your thought and inspireyou (men) to pursue friendship more actively, here are a few noteworthy remarksI’ve read on the topic.
“I havecome to believe that the root of all our personal and emotional difficulties isa lack of togetherness, a failure to connect that keeps us from receiving lifeand prevents the life in us from spilling over onto others. I therefore believethat the surest route to overcoming problems and becoming the people we weremeant to be is reconnecting with God and with our community.” (Larry Crabb, Connecting)
“Everyhuman idealized image that is brought into the Christian community is ahindrance to genuine community and must be broken up so that genuine communitycan survive.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together)
“We are finitebeings and therefore cannot be self-sufficient. We are utterly dependent uponothers, and the longer we live, the more we feel this fact. He is a fool whothinks he can live by himself. It is impossible. Nevertheless, many people arevery attracted to the Romantic idea of escaping into the wilderness, living bythemselves, and not depending on anyone else. It is attractive because Godalone is self-sufficient, and every rebel wants to be like Him. There issomething in the heart of sinful man which dislikes being indebted to anyone.”(Steve Wilkins, Face to Face)
“The markof perfect Friendship is not that help will be given when the pinch comes (ofcourse it will) but that, having been given, it makes no difference at all.”(C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves)